you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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