I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize