how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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