you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
