Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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