Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
