Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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