woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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