She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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