Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
