i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Panties = found
Randomize
