i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
