There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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