I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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