It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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