Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
