Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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