hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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