Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just had sex on a roof
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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