I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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