i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
