guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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