You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All the doctor said was why
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
