Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
