He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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