he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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