.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
