i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
