Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
