Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
