is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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