when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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