My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They took my balls.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
