i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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