I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize