I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
