I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
