um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
