She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
