You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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