Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
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I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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