I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
wow bdsm is so cute
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