Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
