Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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