Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
