where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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