my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
