i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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