Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
