I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
