i think i have herpe
just one?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
