Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
