I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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