ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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