R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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