is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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