I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
