so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize