I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize