Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize