My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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